A SemiCharmed Life
by Kristen Elizabeth
Summary: Post-Journey's End. If you're living your life day after day only half-heartedly, are you really living at all? 10/Rose, 10.5/Rose
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Characters contained within do not beong to me.

Author's Notes: Thank you so much for stopping by. I hope you enjoy it! The second chapter is on the way!

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A Semi-Charmed Life

by Kristen Elizabeth

* * *

_I want something else_

_I'm not listening when you say good-bye_

* * *

The first time they made love, she cried herself to sleep. He never knew, having drifted off into blissful dreams like a man who had just touched heaven. But she'd laid beside him in the dark, grief and guilt spilling over her cheeks in wet rivers until she was too tired to keep her eyes open any longer.

She'd given in to temptation, unable to turn away from that face, especially when those eyes seared through her, burned her with desire that had been pent-up for so long. And it had been everything she'd imagined it would be…only it wasn't the right hands caressing her flesh, wasn't the right mouth plundering hers, wasn't the right man buried inside of her.

Oh, how she'd betrayed him.

In the morning, Rose woke up to his face as he gave her a soft kiss. His lips were warm, his hair was perfectly tousled, and if she only closed her eyes again, she could pretend he wasn't just a copy of the original.

It was far too easy to play make-believe.

So that was how she lived. Eyes half closed, always aware of everything she'd lost, constantly conscious that the man who now called himself John was only a mirror image of something that would always be greater in her mind. He could have her body, but she'd given away her heart a long time before he was even created.

If he knew, he said nothing. Whatever she was willing to give him, he seemed willing to accept. The days turned into weeks and then months. Still endowed with all the infinite knowledge of a Time Lord, John quickly became Torchwood's top alien expert, while she stayed on with Pete's company. They didn't speak of her work at night, definitely not between the sheets, but it was no secret that the project that had helped bring her back into the Doctor's world had not been abandoned.

She was still searching for a way home.

They lived together, first in a set of rooms in Pete's sprawling mansion, then on their own in a modest flat in the heart of London. They slept together; the passion that had been sparked on the beach in Norway had never diminished. They ate toast in the mornings, took walks in the park on weekends, argued over toothpaste…they shared a life together, a simple, normal life that was, to the outside eye, practically perfect.

But a simple pink plus sign changed everything.

* * *

"You're not joking. Are you?"

With her arms wrapped around her stomach, Rose shook her head. "This isn't something you joke about." She sucked in a fortifying breath. "I'm going to have a baby."

_I'm._ That one little word made the light in his eyes, which had been steadily growing, suddenly fade away. _I'm._ Not _we're_.

"Do you want this?" she asked a second later.

His Adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed several times. "Only if you do."

The way he shrugged his reply stung her and she had to blink back a sudden smarting of tears. "I suppose it's no big deal to you," Rose snapped bitterly. "You've been a dad before, right?"

"More than a lifetime ago. And it wasn't…" John stopped short, suddenly switching gears. "I wasn't sure we could…that this could happen. I'm still part alien, after all."

"Well, it did happen." She straightened her shoulders. "This is your last chance to tell me you don't want it. If you say nothing, I'm having it."

Rose held her breath until he reached for her hand. Without a word, he gently squeezed her fingers. And although she knew it was impossible so early on, she could have sworn she felt the child move within her at his touch.

It was later, as she lost her breakfast with violent spasms that she realized…her betrayal of the man who had changed her life now had a face. A tiny little face.

* * *

There were days when Rose loved being pregnant.

On those mornings, the first thing she did was run to the mirror to see if she looked any bigger. She would sing lullabies to her stomach in the shower and refuse to drink even decaffeinated coffee, just in case.

Pete was thrilled at the idea of being a grandfather and doted on her with almost as much enthusiasm as he had upon his wife when she was pregnant with Tony. Rose rang him on those days, filling him in on all the details she thought he'd care about, such as the construction of the nursery and how his company's staff were taking care of her at work.

She would make love to John on those nights, wildly and passionately at first, but then with more care and caution as the months passed. Afterwards, when he thought she was dozing, John would talk to the baby.

"You're absolutely perfect," he would say to her belly. "And I can't wait to meet you."

She'd fall asleep with a smile on her lips, hoping that the next day would be just as good.

But then there were the days when Rose hated being pregnant.

She would hide under the covers long after the alarm had gone off, convinced that she was too big to even roll herself out of bed. She frowned at her stomach in the shower, cursing her fumbled attempts to shave her legs that almost always ended with blood and bandages. Afterwards, she hugged the one cup of coffee that her doctor had told her she could have per day.

Jackie wasn't at all thrilled with the idea of being a grandmother while she was still a new mother herself. It was always on those days that she called, asking about all the details Rose didn't want to think about…stretch marks and epidurals and what it was like to carry a baby that was a quarter alien.

She never made love to John on those nights and he never pressed the issue. He would hold her, one arm underneath her head, with his free hand resting on her belly until her eyes closed. Only then would he speak to the baby.

"Your mum had a hard day today. Let's make tomorrow better for her, shall we?"

She'd fall asleep with wet eyes, praying that it would be.

Nine months came and went. The good days and the bad days passed one by one until she felt ready to pop at any moment. And she wasn't entirely sure the end was in sight. For months, John had successfully evaded the question of how long Gallifreyan children gestated. She had a feeling she'd be finding out the hard way.

But then one morning, Rose woke up in a sticky puddle of blood and water. Her panicked cry had John bolting out of the bathroom just in time to reach the bed as she slumped back against the pillows.

She heard him call her name as the darkness claimed her.

To Be Continued


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Characters contained within do not belong to me.

Author's Notes: Thank you so much for reading and/or reviewing!

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A Semi-Charmed Life

by Kristen Elizabeth

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_She's got her jaws just locked now in a smile_

_But nothing is all right, all right_

* * *

As quickly as the darkness had descended, it began to clear. She was aware only of feelings at first. She was in pain. A dull, hot cramp throbbed below her waist. She was warm, covered in blankets and resting against starched pillows. Not in her own bed, she realized, because she could smell disinfectants that only belonged in hospitals.

Her baby. Something was wrong with her baby.

There were voices all around her. Rose recognized them even though she didn't yet have the strength to open her eyes to put faces to them.

"What do you mean you don't know what's happening to her?" It was Jackie and she was frantic. "You always know what's going on. You're a right pompous know-it-all, but the one time I need you to have all the answers, you're just standing there like a bleeding stone!"

"Jacks, you need to calm down." That was Pete. He was worried, but trying not to show it. "The best doctors in London are taking care of her. Everything is going to be fine."

"You don't know that! Those doctors only know what to do 'bout human babies. They don't know nothing 'bout what's growing inside my daughter!" Her voice hardened. "Don't you dare get all silent and broody now, you great alien git! Tell me what's wrong with Rose!"

"Jackie." John sounded tired. Tired and scared and beaten. "Don't imagine for a moment that if I knew anything about what was wrong with her, I would keep it to myself."

Her mother was crying now. "I don't care what you are! You're still just like him. You won't be happy 'til you've managed to take her away from me forever!"

Rose's eyelashes fluttered and through the tiny spaces between each dark lash, she could see Pete pull John aside. His voice lowered, but now that they were closer to her bed, she could still plainly hear him. "Is this all happening because the baby is part Time Lord?"

"I don't know. It's true that there's never been a child like this before. I just don't…I can't…" John's voice broke down suddenly, like he was collapsing under the weight of his own grief. "I should have protected her. She's draining away because of me. And I have no idea how to stop it!"

"Then we'll have to find someone that can."

"Who?" her mother asked between her tears.

Rose would have held her breath if the machines hadn't been breathing for her.

"The Doctor." Silence blanketed the room until Pete continued. "The project's ready. It just takes so much energy that we've been searching for a way to run it on less power. But she's worth it. Might blow out the lights for the whole city, but I'll do it for her."

"You're serious?" Jackie hiccupped. "You could bring him here?"

"Yes. And if he can do anything to save her, by god, I will."

Rose wanted to open her eyes, but all she could do was lie there and listen.

"He's a Time Lord," Pete went on. "If anyone can help safely bring a partially Time Lord child into the world, it's him."

When John finally spoke, it was in a voice she didn't recognize. "The gap is in Norway. Even if you could get him to our universe, how would you get him here in time to…"

"Don't tell me you've forgotten about the very devices that got Rose here in the first place," Pete said, exasperated. "The teleporters. I could have him here in the blink of an eye."

"He and I have the same mind! There is nothing that he knows about Time Lords that I don't!" John was angry now. Rose found herself longing to reach for his hand, but her arm wouldn't move. "What makes you think he'll have any more of an idea what to do than I…"

Pete cut him off again. "Because you're too involved!" Through her lashes, she watched John take a stunned step back, away from her father. "You can't think your way through this one because you're not thinking with a clear mind. He will." A second passed before Pete gently added, "It's not his child in danger."

Rose felt someone touching her hand. John's long fingers entwined with hers and she felt her body relaxing. There was still pain, but it suddenly didn't seem to matter so much. She didn't see him nod, but she felt him giving in.

"All right then." Pete's voice became distant as he moved towards the door. "Let's not waste anymore time. Contact Torchwood. Tell them to expect interdimensional feedback for the next half hour or so. I'll be going to Norway myself." He stopped for a deep breath. "You both stay with her. If there's any change, I'll want to know immediately."

As soon as Pete was gone, Jackie cleared her throat. "I need a cup of tea." It took her a second, but she forced out a stiff, too-polite, "You, too?"

"No." John's grip on her hand tightened. "I'm not leaving her."

Her mother sniffed. "Well then. I guess you aren't so much like him." The door shut as Jackie left.

The Doctor was coming. It was her greatest hope realized. But from the way John was clutching her hand, she suddenly understood that it was his worst nightmare come to life.

After a minute, Rose felt warm lips touch her fingers and two distinct drops of moisture wet her skin.

"Rose," he whispered. "Please don't leave me either."

To Be Continued


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: Characters contained within do not belong to me.

Author's Notes: Thank you so much for all the kind support! I hope you keep enjoying the story.

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A Semi-Charmed Life

by Kristen Elizabeth

* * *

_The sky, it was gold, it was rose_

_I was taking sips of it through my nose_

* * *

It had all changed on the morning he'd woken up beside Rose after their first night together.

John had watched her sleeping for a long time, memorizing every detail of her face as dawn crept through the windows. Making love to her had been everything he'd never let himself dream about when he'd been confined in a body that would outlive her by centuries.

But now, thanks to some of the craziest twists of fate he'd ever witnessed, he'd been given the means to make his unspoken wish come true.

Upon finding himself with only a single heartbeat, he hadn't been exactly thrilled. "That's disgusting," he had told Donna and up until she pointed out what his sudden humanity could mean for him and Rose, he'd truly believed it was. How did one go from the limitless existence of a Time Lord to the short reality of a single life?

Easily, he had soon realized, if you could share that single life with the woman you loved.

But as he'd studied her face that morning, hoping to find the same joy that was surely printed on his, John couldn't help but notice the tracks that her tears had left behind on her cheeks. Sometime in the night as he'd dreamed about her, she'd cried over him.

Unwilling to allow his one remaining heart to break, he never spoke of what he'd seen. Rose never brought it up either and as the weeks passed, it was very easy for him to pretend that their seamless co-habitation was something more, something deeper.

A flat in London. Toast in the mornings. Sex after dinner. Walks in the park. Toothpaste. After 900 years, he was finally living the simplest adventure of them all. And he was loving every moment of it.

She had loved him once. If he gave her time, space, patience, attention, whatever she needed…he knew she could love him again, as he was now. Just a man, but a man who could be with her until the end.

Then he came home one afternoon and found her in the bathroom, staring at the little pink plus sign on the test stick.

He was going to be a dad. Again.

* * *

For someone who'd spent a good portion of a millennium in the company of humans, John was shocked to discover how very little he knew about their reproduction. Of course he knew the basics, and what he hadn't known, he'd picked up pretty quickly whenever Rose crooked her finger at him and gestured towards their bedroom.

But that was merely the act that started it all. Population through pleasure. In this area, humans had it all over Time Lords. No looms, no artificial surrogates…just two people making love and making life.

And he'd been a part of it, not just an observer. He wasn't a first time father, but everything about the pregnancy was new to him. As Rose's body grew, so did his feelings for the tiny person inside her.

"I can't wait to meet you," he would tell the child after she fell asleep. And it was true. The baby was part of him and part of Rose and once it was born, it would be the thing that linked them together forever.

Maybe even the thing that made her love him more than she loved her memories.

He treasured the bad days of the pregnancy as much as he did the good days because no matter how the day went, it always ended with Rose in his arms, either naked and sated or weary and seeking comfort.

And so he would hold her, cradling both her and the precious life she carried. In the dark, just before he closed his eyes and let himself fall asleep to the beating of her heart against his, John would thank his doppelganger in the parallel universe. His loss had made all of this possible.

John was shaving in the bathroom when he heard Rose cry out from the bedroom. There had been no blood when he'd left the bed, but now it soaked the sheets around her lower body.

His heart, his one stupid, half-human heart that now seemed completely useless, nearly stopped as, pale and frightened, she passed out just as he reached her side.

Human lives might be ordinary, but they were still just as dangerous.

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To Be Continued


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